an rud is annamh is íontach

Just got nauseaous ...

2010-04-19T23:06:00.001-05:00

I have not blogged in a month and a half ... and my run is in 10 days ... sigh

New Lookie Look!!

2010-03-04T13:44:00.002-06:00

I can't thank Beckie at Simply Chic enough for my gorgeous new background. If you are in need of a new look for your blog home check out Beckie and the ladies over there!
Thanks again honey!!!

I don't understand...

2010-02-28T19:02:00.000-06:00

So tomorrow my mom wants to babysit... actually she got laid off so she will babysit any day / any time. She wants to see the boys / fill her day. So Russ is off tomorrow and I thought we could do something - anything - just the two of us. So I just suggested that we go ice skating at Skate on State or whatever it is because he has been promising me for idk how many years and he rolled his eyes. It's $10 skate rental. Then I said lets go to Fogo for lunch because, literally, I've wanted to go there for at least 3 or 4 years for dinner and lunch is exactly the same but less money. Really the bottom line is I want to spend more time with my husband without the kids, somewhere other than home and him sleeping.

So his response you ask? We just spent $9000 on the bathroom and got you a new car....

First off the only cost to US on our bathroom was the shower the rest is being paid for by his dad. Not $9000 to US. NOPE.
Yea we just got me a new car. $30 more a month because he got the extended warranty and detailing package. And the detailing package was given to us at cost so only a few dollars more a month - I was standing there when they told him how much it would cost.

So I started crying, and because his dad is here I went upstairs to get it out. I cried... I left Kathryn a message... I cried some more.... I washed my face and came downstairs. Now it seems like he is pissed off at me. Really? What did I do???

I really feel like he just doesn't want to spend any alone time with me. I don't know why I bother. I guess if he doesn't want to spend the time with me I should stop trying? Is that really the right answer? I didn't think so. But right now I feel like I just slammed my head into a wall. And that I did something wrong because he isn't talking to me. WTF is wrong with me?

99 Things I Ought to Have Done

2010-02-26T15:24:00.001-06:00

I got this from my very best Kathryn at Life Happens:

99 Things I Ought to Have Done

Instructions:
Copy the list, bold the ones you've done (with explanations if needed), share with friends.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disney
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo (does the shower count?)
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a thunder and lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon - May 1st Baby!!
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (A nice man on the elevated train did it for me once - I still have it)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling (Snorkled in Grand Cayman)
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (movie got fogged out by a sudden, very creepy thick unexpected fog)
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been let go from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House (outside not inside)
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

What makes my heart smile...

2010-02-21T16:23:00.000-06:00

Tori

Hannalori

Mitri

Aedan

Kyle

Tori/Hannalori

Mitri/Aedan/Kyle

Aedan/Kyle

My Kathryn-My Twin

Another lesson learned ...

2010-02-21T15:26:00.004-06:00

If he wanted it we would have it... If I want it there had better be a great reason period.
I've been wanting one of those hot water faucets for the sink. Why? Just because I do. He "looked" a while ago and said they were $500. I believed. I was just watching a kitchen show and they said they were $150 ... Hmmmm I didn't think the price dropped that much. So I found an InSinkErator one at Amazon.com for $130 free shipping. Just showed him and asked him aboutthe $500 price and he said "Oh that was Kohler." Oh well of course that is $500... So I said well I found it for so much less. His response was wanting to know why I need that.
I want it... Simple enough. If he did he would have looked harder way back and we would have one. We have the hole in the sink where the soap dispenser goes because I don't use that.
Whatever... It's just one more thing to let me know what my place is in this marriage and house. Chalk it up to another lesson learned.

Exercise...

2010-02-21T13:00:00.002-06:00

Got Jillian Michael's new Yoga Meltdown... I did it this morning before the boys woke up. I died... enough said...

Maybe it's me... maybe I'm being ridiculous...

2010-02-20T10:09:00.004-06:00

Maybe I'm just to sensitive... Maybe I'm the one that is wrong... Maybe I just can't do anything right... Maybe I'm being ridiculous ... Some thing that go through my head when I get upset and depressed. I can't help it.

I took Mitri to the train last night and I needed to run to Walmart to pick up more of the things to go over the door knobs to keep the boys from opening up the basement door and Russ wanted mac & cheese so I was getting more of that too. Traffic was awful so it took me almost 40 mins to get to Walmart from the train station and Walmart was crowded. So it was almost 7:15 by the time I got home.
I walk in the door and get my ass chewed. "Did you go to the Walmart in Skokie?!?!" .... With a tone that would make anybody cry. So I jump right back with I can't drive faster than the cars in front of me... we go back and forth for a second and it pretty much ends with him saying not to bother cooking for him because it was too late ... and I wasn't going to with him jumping on me. I was making the boys a pizza and some soup for myself. He isn't the only person in the house. Whatever. Then the boys start up. Screaming and crying and whining. Kyle wouldn't feed himself because it would be messy so I had to feed him. So I sat at the table crying and feeding Kyle. Didn't ever manage to feed myself because I ended up feeling sick from getting so upset and feeling hurt... put my soup back in the fridge.

I just feel like I can't do anything right. Everything that I do is wrong. If he has a bad day he takes it out on everybody. If I have a bad day and am quiet I'm a bad person for having a bad day.

I can't run errands with the boys because it's just to hard. It takes me twice as long and nobody has double carts and it's cold and Aedan has been sick the past week anyway. I don't see him trying to take them both anywhere by himself. Why does he expect that I should? Why shouldn't I get the opportunity to have some time to myself to get done what I need to?

I want to be able to have a girls night out like my friends do but it's not worth the grief I would get to try to do it. The guilt that would come with it because "I don't want to spend the time with him" would make me so miserable when I was out. Just because he doesn't want to go out doesn't mean I don't. I'm stuck in the house with the boys all the time. He gets to go out without them.

He told Kathryn that he feels bad about me being here with the boys all the time and then he comes home and falls asleep ... or something like that... I almost believed it. If he meant it... if he really meant it then he wouldn't jump in my ass when I tried to run an errand or make me feel bad if I wanted to go out with the girls or to a scrapbook night at the mall or something. A gym membership so I could put them in the childcare and be able to workout would make a difference in my life. Even if he would pick up after himself after he eats - wow. I just don't get a break or am even allowed to feel like I deserve one.

I'm so tired and frustrated ... Maybe I'm being ridiculous for thinking I deserve any of it.

Back in the saddle ... again...

2010-02-19T11:31:00.002-06:00

Treadmill fixed... I'm running... Thank God!!!! Because when I fall off the wagon I fall all the way off. I struggled hard the last few days with not being able to run. I wanted to work out, I wanted to Shred... to do something... but I just couldn't find the motivation.
Now we've been invited to a wedding in 2 months so I need to push it hard. I know I won't be anywhere near my goal - but I know I can tone up a little bit. I can make some physical changes in 8 weeks.
I have to run and Shred daily for the next 8 weeks... I have to get it done. Starting today...
I'm back in the saddle - yes again...

Grrrrrrrrrrrr

2010-02-14T16:30:00.000-06:00

My treadmill broke... Doesn't incline anymore. I need to open it up and see if I can fix it or get the hubby to look at it. I'm so mad I could cry... Grrrrrrr
I'll be shreding until then...

Snow ... Snow ... and more damn Snow

2010-02-09T12:46:00.006-06:00

So this morning we played with the snow... In our kitchen... We wouldn't want to go outside and get cold or have to change out of our PJs or anything like that. Besides Kyle is so terribly OCD that he won't touch the snow let alone stand in it. He crys "wet..cold..dirty..wet..wet..cold..cold......" if we try. Nice for the slightly over 2 year old don't you think?

Ok I lied...

2010-02-06T19:26:00.003-06:00

I lied on Jan 14th when I said I was back.... I just can't seem to manage to post daily and I don't know why. It isn't that I don't want to. I'm a BAD blogger. :(

I have been working out daily. If you don't count yesterday and today. {shame}
I AM running a 5k on May 1st. The Chicago Police Memorial - Run 2 Remember. http://www.active.com/donate/r2remember2010/EBrown926
I am so full of emotions on this. I am afraid that I can't do it. I'm proud of myself for signing up. I am proud for training for it. I'll run or crawl or something. No matter what I will get around that 5k route. Right now I can run/walk 2.5 miles in 30 mins. So I KNOW that I do the 5k. But some how the thought of doing it 'for real' is different. I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need to set a time goal, I just need to finish. But who am I kidding.... I need to be able to do it in some undefined time frame. lol

My husband is not supportive in my quest to run in anything. That just makes me more determined to run as much and as often as I can. I've also already signed up for another 5k in June. And I hope to run the Rock ~N~ Roll Half Marathon in August with my Twin (13.1 miles). When I told him I wanted to run he laughed at me... that is more motivation than anything to me. Right in front of the treadmill is a little 'statue' of a police officer that sort of resembles my husband holding his hand up in a traffic stop. I look at it as if he is telling me to stop running, stop pushing yourself, you can't do this. I take it and I push myself harder.

I CAN AND WILL DO THIS!

Look at me I'm back...

2010-01-14T19:07:00.002-06:00

I'm back and on a mission. I'm training. I am going to run. Yes I said it... the 'R' word. I'm going to run and not because I'm being chased. I'm running a 5k on May 1st, June 13th, and maybe a half marathon on Aug 1st. I think I've lost my mind.

I'm currently doing the Couch to 5k running program to get myself ready. Right now I'm on week 1, day 2. How bad it is that I have to take a break because of shin splints? Stupid shin splints. I pronate, my feet roll in, so that puts extra pressure on my shins. Therefore I'm prone to shin splints. Lovely. I've always gotten them. Now I know better than to push through that pain. Tomorrow morning I'll do a no-impact work out on my workout ball and work on strengthening my core. Might have to do that 2 days in a row. I also may have to get some good insoles for my running shoes and do extra leg work to strengthen my calf's. Sigh...

But I will run those 5k!!!

I'll be tracking my progress here.... Lucky you!

It's all or nothing ...

2009-11-29T17:47:00.002-06:00

I either have a lot to write about or nothing at all ... what's that about?

We had a nice extended Thanksgiving celebration starting on Thanksgiving.

Thursday we went to my mom's for lunch and to a friends for dinner. Wednesday when I confirmed everything with my mom, the time and everything was fine no problems on doing it earlier. By the evening she had changed her mind about that and her turkey wasn't thawed and so on and so forth. So I ended up getting a ham to cook and take over there with us, that and the sides I was making anyway. So much more cooking that I had wanted to do. If I wanted to stress Thursday morning I would have had dinner here. Oh well... it ended up fine.

Then we went to a friends for dinner. Good friends, good food... we ate and left because it's hard with the boys. Don't discipline my kid when you won't discipline your own. So it ended early for us, that's ok they needed bed anyway. No naps and a long day makes for cranky boys and crankier parents.

Saturday, I made a full dinner with the help of my girls. They couldn't come up on Thursday so we had ours late. It was great too. And I love cooking with them both! I think Tori helped more this year than ever before. And I seem to be getting a little closer to Hannalori which I love. We have always cooked together, but never had real girl talk and did that this weekend.

A DATE!

2009-11-24T08:51:00.002-06:00

A week or so ago I remembered that Trace Adkins & Martina McBride were on tour so I jumped online to look and see when/if they would be around here. Much to my surprise it was this past Sunday the 22nd. So for grins I thought I would see if I could get tickets. I managed to luck up on awesome seats! Ground level, row MMM which was like 15 rows back, and on the aisle. Amazing! Even better was that they were inexpensive. So I grabbed them and we went! To make it better I was able to get Tori to come up after work and stay overnight to watch the boys. So we were able to stay in Milwaukee overnight.

We went to The Comet Cafe for dinner. The concert was amazing. Trace Adkins is sooo funny and so talented. I love his music! And Martina McBride was great! After one of her songs she walked around the crowd and we got to shake her hand! WOW!!!

All in all it was a wonderful date night! We so need to do that stuff more often! Throwing in an amazing concert makes it better!

The Thin Blue Line

2009-11-07T22:38:00.002-06:00

For those of you who do not know what the The Thin Blue Line is the strongest, thickest, most amazing line you will never see. I've always known about it, I've been apart of it for years. I've never really experienced it until tonight.

Let me back track a little bare with me. We went to the dentist this morning, it's a day trip I swear, pack a lunch man. It's an hour+ drive. But it's worth it, our dentist and his girls are awesome. Love them all. So we leave here at 9:30, get home at 2:30. No kidding.

Around 4:30ish I notice the FB status of one of the girls who is a cop with Russ is asking for prayers for another cop. I scratch my head, but figure I'll ask Russ what happened when he wakes up. Then I noticed it on one of the dispatchers FB statuses. Hmmmmmm.... Then Russ' Nextel goes off. Now all my alarms are going off. Shew NOT another shooting! Ok... So I text Jesse the dispatcher and ask what is going on. She calls me right back. Fills me in... Joe was on his way home from work, got into an accident. It was looking really bad for him. So we jumped up and ran to the hospital.

Let me tell you... there had to be 30 or 40 cops there. All off-duty (because the hospital was not in town), and all there because that was the only place they felt they needed to be.

Ok so Joe crashed on the table like 3 or 4 times. He has a femoral bleed that they can't stop. His pelvis is pulverized. Fractured ribs. Punctured lung. And they are recycling his blood. Not looking good at all. Finally they get him stabilized. Induce a coma so he can get strong enough to do surgery and start to patch him back together. Humpty Dumpty much? SIGH..

This is the first time I have ever 'done this'... been at something like this. I didn't go to the hospital after the shootings we've had because they were during the day and I had nobody to watch the boys and I am not taking my boys to anything like that because they don't need to be there. They also don't need a couple of unrelated toddlers running around that. And although I've been married to Russ for 5 years, and around cops for IDK how many years now, this is truly the first time I've ever been to a major incident. When Russ had his accident in '07 it wasn't 'major', he was fine so there were only a couple guys there from his unit to take reports and to be there; but not the whole department. We knew Russ wasn't dieing. Tonight was different, tonight The This Blue Line showed it's ass. Tonight we thought Joe was going to die. Tonight for the first time I realized what a family this really is. Tonight I knew, in a horrible morbid way, that God forbid, something every happened to Russ that his department, no matter how fractured. No matter how dysfunctional, that they would all come together, that my kids would be taken care of because that Thin Blue Line does really exist even at EPD. Stupid, but comforting in a strange way.

Joe is stable right now, but still in serious/critical condition. Before we left I hugged his wife, who I never met before, I told her from one cop's wife to another, that it was going to be ok and that these guys would always take care of her and if I could do anything to please reach out.

Just thought you should all know.

2009-11-06T10:12:00.002-06:00

:( I'm still not skinny...

Flipping cold again!

2009-11-05T09:12:00.002-06:00

I woke up this morning after Russ left, before the kids got up to make my morning potty run. I thought it was a bit colder in my room than normal. I swore outloud and the dog looked offended. So I went downstairs and it was just freaking cold. So I swore outloud again. And since I was well more than half asleep I looked for Russ, because I knew he had to still be there, I didn't remember hearing the garage door open and close. So he had to be there fixing the furnace right? Well he wasn't on the first floor, I think I might have gone back upstairs to see if he was in the bathroom or in bed and I didn't notice (stranger things have happened and I was pretty much sleep walking) - he wasn't there in case you were wondering. So I looked in the garage and his car was indeed gone. Again I was pretty much asleep in my defense. I swore outloud again. I looked at the thermostat - 68 flipping degrees!

So here we go - I grabbed the flashlight and went to the basement. Lights on, flashlight on, ugh the little reset button is popped. It is kind of like the button on the electric outlets that you have to push down, only it's the size of a big zit (love the visual don't you?). Ok... turn the furnace off wait a few seconds till it's off, push the button down, lean back (it really roars), flip the switch - furnace on - WOOSH!!! Oh joyous heat. Lights off, flashlight off, back upstairs. So I'm thinking he must not have noticed that it was cold, he just came downstairs and left. I didn't notice it so much the other day. So I call him... well don't I feel like a dumb ass because guess what he knew. He just didn't bother to reset it. He effing left for work and left his family in the cold. Sweet man huh? What is sad is that I can't even be mad... I'm irritated, but because it doesn't surprise me I'm not mad. Just chalk it up to one more thing on the list of selfish ass inconsiderate Russ things. I could cry though... ugh...

Anyway... I get back in bed. 30 mins later I come back downstairs, it's no warmer. More cursing outloud. Check the thermostat, no change. More cursing. I turn on the fireplace, forgot to open the flue. Didn't even make it to the basement door before the smoke detector was blaring. Apparently it doesn't have to be smokey for that thing to go. CO2 maybe? Not sure exactly what the gas fireplace gives off that it was detecting but Demitrious, who was down here because it was still way to early, opened the garage door for me and I opened the back door (because we needed it to be colder in here) and we fanned by the detector - oh and I shut the fireplace off and opened the flue. Ok got that taken care of. Turned the fireplace back on. Surprisingly it didn't wake the boys up. Now I go back downstairs and well what do you know the furnace shut back off. So furnace off, push the button down, furnace on, WOOSH! We have fire (please note I'm less excited this time). I come back upstairs and I call Russ and tell him it shut back off and there is a bigger problem than we thought. So he asks me for the model number etc, so I go back downstairs, I think I may just stay there, and as I'm reading them off the furnace shuts off again. It has been what 5 minutes since I fired it back up? Spiffy! More cursing. I don't even bother to reset it this time.

So of course the boys are up, it's cold, the fireplace is on. I'm in a foul mood. I have no idea what this is going to cost us. I'm not a happy woman.

It was cold in here!

2009-11-04T22:45:00.003-06:00

And I mean cold... real temperature not perceived because I was pissed off or anything. Yesterday morning when I got up I thought it's cold in my room, but it's always cold in my room. It's over the garage, it's cold... no biggie. I went downstairs and it was cold down there too. I was tired and in a hurry. I did a cursory run past the thermostat and it said 74. Ok I figured it was just me because I was tired. I'm always cold when I'm tired. So I straightened my hair, got the boys up and dressed and we left the house. I was in a hurry like I said.... we were off to meet Tori and Russ in E-Town for an visit to the station and an early lunch.

We got home from our date and noticed that it was still cold in the house. So WTF I thought... looked at the thermostat again. And well dumb a$$ me... it didn't say 74, well not the actual temp, the actual temp was 69. So I left it alone thinking something was wrong with it because of the time change and Russ forgot to do something blah blah. So when Russ got home he futzed with it and changed the programing, set the clock on it... We got busy, had dinner, a couple drinks, FIL came over... By bedtime we realized it was still effing cold in the house. So he went down and messed with the furnace and the thermostat some more. The pilot light is on, but it won't fire up. No heat. Well here is the kicker. He let the home warranty go. We talked about it when it came up for renewal. He decided to let it go. Thankfully it's not terribly cold out and we're not gonna freeze to death. So ... we are out of luck for the night because it's not an emergency - I agree.

So naturally it's a major busy day at work for him. But between stupid people doing stupid shit he talks to a friend of ours who's boyfriend is a general contractor. So all day it's back and forth. The boyfriend will do it for us. Either fix it or replace it which ever the case is gonna end up being. Now today it's just cold in here. 66, 65... brrrrrrr. Russ remembered to light the pilot on the fireplace for me this morning. So I had that burning all day. I even got a brain fart and cleaned the stove today, turned on the self clean so it would get really hot. I actually got it up to 72 on the first floor between the 2 things going. I pulled the electric heater from my bedroom and put it in the boys bedroom so that their room would warm up before naptime; pulled it back out before I laid them down. Sometimes I have a good thought or two. Thankfully today I had a couple. So the guy that is gonna do the work calls me and I run downstairs to get the model and serial number and other stuff off it for him. Back upstairs. He calls again I run downstairs and start to try to describe the parts inside for him, he wasn't getting what I was describing. So he said send him pictures. So it was to dark for my cell phone camera. I took them with my digital camera, uploaded to my laptop, emailed to my phone, and texted them to him. So he calls me back and has me go back downstairs and there is the smallest reset button that if you didn't know it was there you wouldn't know it was there. Shut the furnace off, push the button down, turn the furnace on. WOOOSH! Here comes the big fire!!!! We have heat!!! I've never been so happy to see big fire in my life!!!

Now mind you we really do need to replace the furnace, it's 22 years old and not high efficiency at all. Just not right now I hope. I got the house heated up to 80 so the upstairs would get heated, then turned it back down to 74 which is what we keep it at. I'm tempted to go downstairs and look and see if it's running now, but if it's not there isn't anything I can do right now so I think I'll just roll over and go to sleep.

Happy Halloween

2009-11-03T19:36:00.004-06:00

This was Aedan & Kyle's third Halloween... the first 2 they didn't notice a thing. This year, for the first time I took them Trick or Treating. I'm pretty sure that they had no clue what was going on. I'm also a million percent sure that going for a walk will never be the same. How do I convince them that they can't just go up to people's doors and say Trick or Treat and get candy all the time? I'm pretty sure that we are never going for walks again. LOL

Kyle stuck his Elmo basket out and got his candy and moved on.
Aedan stuck his Elmo basket out, got his candy, stuck his hand in his basket, took out a piece of candy, put it in his mouth with the wrapper on. I had to take his candy every time and put it in Mitri's bag.

Demitrious ~aka~ Detective John Shaft

Aedan ~aka~ Lieutenant Brown

Kyle ~aka~ Lieutenant Brown

I can't wait until next Halloween when they understand it even more and we can go to more houses and I might even dress up too. Who knows...

It wasn't my memory in the first place..

2009-10-22T13:43:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was yet another insane day... I would LOVE for a nice easy low key day, but I don't think I'll get one. That would involve folx chipping in and helping me out without me asking or getting upset. Yesterday I really wanted to get my nails filled in when the boys napped, but I needed to get the house picked up. So Russ napped and I cleaned. SSDD.

I woke Russ in time for him to get his dad and take him to his PT appointment. Then I was going to meet them for dinner. There are some people down the street who have the most beautiful German Shepherd. She is tall and slender, and just beautiful and so good with their kids. Well yesterday she was in the front yard with their baby. The little girl is maybe 10/11 months old. It was beautiful out so everybody was out front, but the baby was on the other half of the yard and the dog was standing right over her. Watching her, protecting her, keeping her out of harm and trouble.

It was awesome. I got all teary and it reminded me of when Tori was a baby and they had this awesome Shepherd who would watch over her the same way. I couldn't wait to jump on the phone and call Russ and tell him. I started talking and he cut me off to tell me about the 'awesome car wash' he just spent 40 mins at getting FIL's car washed at. I didn't even bother trying to finish what I was going to say. One reason was because he cut me off as usual to tell me what he wanted to say, because he typically wasn't listening to me anyway. The other reason was because he would have been like "Awwww" that is sweet about the dog, and then he would have told me that I was 'silly' or 'crazy' for getting all sentimental about a memory that isn't even mine. You see I didn't know them then. The girls didn't become 'my' girls until 6 years ago. He would have poked a bit of fun at my getting emotional over the memory that doesn't belong to me.

It wasn't my memory to be emotional over. Why do I do that? How can I tear up about somebody else's memory? Doesn't seem right to me. But I did none the less. I love those girls just as much as if they were my own flesh and blood. I love them and feel like I have known them all of their lives. The other thing is how sad is it that I don't feel like I can share it with my own husband because he will make fun of it? I can take a good teasing as much as anybody, don't mind it a bit. But it is almost belittling sometimes when he tells me I'm silly or crazy, he just seems to say it out of not knowing what else to say I guess. I'm sure he doesn't really mean that I'm being silly or crazy, but it hurts just the same. So instead I chose to not share with him. That was a first...

My baby boys...

2009-10-01T22:29:00.010-05:00

My babies turned 2 yesterday. 2. 2 years old. How did that happen? When did they turn into little boys? Who told them that they could?
They are not in cribs anymore.
They are about ready to potty train. Well are at least showing signs of being ready.
They are getting older everyday.
I don't want more kids, not an issue. But at the same time it's hard watching them grow up knowing that I will not have the firsts over again. I'm not going to miss potty training at all, don't get me wrong. But the cute first I'll miss... First steps... First words... the cute stuff.

Aedan: 09/30/2007

Kyle: 09/30/2007

Aedan: 09/28/2009

Kyle: 09/28/2009

The best weekend ever...

2009-09-23T14:54:00.003-05:00

We had the most amazing time visiting my twin for her kids joint birthday party. The party went off without a hitch.

My Kathryn... my twin. You should have seen us. The way we move around it's amazing. I've never been like that with anybody. We can cooked, we cleaned, we watched TV we did everything. We talked - we didn't. It was perfect. It's like we have been together all of our lives.

The kids ... omg the kids. Kaitlyn is my baby-doll. She is so amazing and she loved her 'boo-boos' (my boys)... There was one point when we were in the kitchen and the kids were all sitting and playing quietly. Kinda scary! One would have thought the house was being torn apart. My Tyler... I knew he would be my baby boy. Those eyes melted my heart and those hugs are to die for!

Leaving made my heart hurt more than I can possibly explain... I feel detached now like I'm missing half of myself.

Some lessons are never learned...

2009-09-07T08:10:00.000-05:00

So I said I would drink beer because I wouldn't drink as much and that way I would be ummm less drunk. in theory this might have been an ok plan. I didn't take into account the 5 te-kill-yah shots, and the O-bomb (which was quite good although I don't remember what was in it).... So 5 beers / 5 shots and a O-Bomb (which we slammed down too) later your's truly was well silly. lol. so much for the best of plans... Poor Russ had to go to work this morning. no way for him to get off. And we are going to Carol's tonight - I totally forgot until this morning. Chrissy and Randy are in town and we always make a point to go when they are here. There will be no rest for my system this tonight.

I wonder how much more I weigh right now? I'll be jumping on the scale as soon as I crawl out of bed... I need to know as a deterant. HA! Ok I just need to know. nothing but water for the rest of my life!

Welll....

2009-09-04T12:41:00.002-05:00

The bookshelf and dresser are finally secured to the wall. We went with toddler beds instead of bunk beds at this time. That way when they are big enough for bunk beds we can afford to get them really nice ones.

The toddler beds are really nice ones, very cute and will match their rooms perfectly. I decided not to put the beds up yet. They are not ready yet. Like today, they were tired and cranky at noon... I put them down and it's an hour later and they are not sleeping yet. I hear them thunking and yelling and talking. That will be worse in beds. The other day I put them down and they went right to sleep.

Maybe in a couple weeks they will be a little more ready. But the room is ready and I have the beds so I can throw them together in a heartbeat if I need to... That is the most important part to me.

Starting the transation.

2009-08-24T15:58:00.002-05:00

When I went to get the twins up from naps the other day Kyle had one foot up on the high side of his crib between his and Aedan's crib. Rut roh raggy... this means trouble. I didn't react, as we all know a reaction only makes it worse. I just went in as I always do and continued as I always do. But I knew that it was the beginning of the end.

Honestly I am amazed that they are still in cribs. Until now neither one has shown any sign of trying to climb out. For this I am thankful. Now I've made peace with the transition with it being time and I am ready to make the transition.

With the help of my twin (thank you honey), we've found a great bed at Walmart that is great price. It's a twin over twin split bunk bed. So as we had previously talked about we will set up the twin beds until they are ready for bunk beds several years from now. But these beds are good enough to last them through many many years.

I'm making preparations for the room now. I cleaned out the toys downstairs and sorted through them and picked a bunch to go upstairs. This morning I took out the boxed up clothes that don't fit anymore and the changing table and moved the toys in. I need to pick up some sort of toy box that will work over the air vent; let the air in and keep them out of the vent. I've ordered some childproofing stuff - the things to secure the dresser and bookshelf to the wall; the funky things to go over the accordion closet doors so they can't open them and pinch their fingers; I already had the door knobs things so that is on the bathroom door and the inside of their door so they can't look themselves in and me out (HA).

All that is left for me to do is take the boxes from under the cribs, they will go to the basement also. When the childproofing stuff comes in I'll get that put in. Find that toy box and a little more organizing. Russ needs to get the bed and mattresses on Friday. I wanted to at least get the bed on his last days off, but he didn't want to deal with it. It would have been one less thing to deal with this week.

I just hope that Kyle doesn't figure out how to get out before we get it done. I don't want to be scrambling last minute to get it all done because he can climb out. Them falling from crib to floor is a huge fear!

Aedan's Haircut...

2009-08-22T15:15:00.005-05:00

The mullet... business in the front / party in the back.
My wildman... he is a maniac and his hair worked for him. But it was a little mullety (is that a word?).

He went out and stood in the rain on the deck yesterday and came in with wet hair... I looked at him and told daddy come on we're cutting it. Right now. Before I change my mind... So that was it... It's done.
I teared up. I got a little queasy. But once we got going it was all good... I feel better for doing it. I love it. He is sooo cute with his hair short. But I miss my little wildman hair. SIGH.

Before:

After:

Higglety Pigglety Pop! Or, There Must Be More to Life ...

2009-08-19T18:54:00.004-05:00

My baby boy started high school today. I'm not sure who was less ready, him or me. I woke up when the garage door opened and Russ left for work. I couldn't fall back asleep - I gave up and got up. I finished getting the kitchen cleaned up. I got everything ready to make pancakes for him this morning. I sat and watched TV. Once he got up I cooked and I even made him one pancake that was a Mickey Mouse pancake just for giggles. He was nervous I could tell, but he didn't need to know that I was too. The boys were even up in time to tell him good-bye this morning so he was happy about that.

He got home later than I was expecting... I was really nervous about that. But if I had listened to what I had told Kathryn - school buses run late the first few days with bus calls and trying to figure out who goes on what bus and schedules and such. That is the only thing that was wrong. Our stop is the first in the morning and the first in the afternoon. He had a good day. Only last to his last class because it's tucked into a corner and he kind of walked past it. But he did fine, lunch was fine, has friends in his classes and at lunch. He is going to be fine. Looks like his Honors English and Honors History class are going to be kick ass which I knew. But with due diligence he will make it. I'm very proud of my baby boy.

~~

I made the Penne with Prosciutto and Spinach again tonight. It's an easy dish to make, but there is prep work. Dicing the prosciutto, making the besciamella sauce. All in all it's just over an hours worth of cooking start to finish. The boys all played and Russ then dozed off - typical. When dinner was done I had to wake Russ and Mitri up. No problem. The boys were fine. I told Russ a few times that dinner was done and I started getting it together, putting together the plates etc he sat there. Some foolish level of consciousness (must have been the Bloody Mary) had me thinking that maybe he would get the high chairs... HA! Get up and help... HA!

I lost my temper... I came back out of the kitchen said fine I'll just do it all myself... threw the toys out of my way - literally. Grabbed the high chairs set them up. The boys climb in themselves. I got the trays and turn around and OMG who is standing right there to help - WOW... took a hint. I get that he works, I really do. But damnit I do to. And just because the boys take a nap and that gives me relief from them for a few doesn't mean that I'm not doing something around here. And when he comes home it's not like I get a break because he goes to sleep. I look over and he is on his laptop... I'm doing everything and he picks up his laptop! WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he got the slamming things hint and he got up and helped. Dinner is over he is sleeping on the couch.

~~

Over the weekend I went to my 20 year high school reunion. I had a great time. I reconnected with an old friend that I had not talked to since high school. Well not IRL, we have caught up some on FaceBook. But we picked up like we hadn't been apart for 20 years. I was glad we went and it was a good time!

I also learned that Tamara Braun from GH and AMC went to High School with me! I have to say I'm a bit star struck. I really loved her on AMC! I had no idea that she went to school with me... I need to learn to pay attention to these things!

So much to write ... so little to drink...

2009-08-13T23:08:00.002-05:00

I have not had enough to drink to write everything that I have on my mind. I don't even know if there is enough booze in the house. I think bullet points may be in order... Just a summary.

* A friend of mines babygirl is being bullied in her church nursery. The church isn't dealing with it. The bully's parents think it's a joke. That pisses me the F* off. I have very little expectation for other children's parents. I have high expectations for a church. I get that most church nurseries are supervised by volunteer parents so they are not going to do anything about it. But the church itself... REALLY. I'm feel very bad for my friend and her baby girl. It breaks my heart.

* My baby boy is starting high school on the 19th. Tonight we went to orientation... It was great. I feel really good about him going to that school. Confidant that they will 'take good care' of him. I feel they have a great grasp of the 1 school, 2 campus model. Or at least the OP campus does anyway. But I'm sad that my baby boy is going to high school. I can't believe it.

* My baby girl... My Hannalori. She is hurting. We want her to come live here with us. It is her decision and she is agonizing about it. I hate that she is hurting about it. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to have to make such a decision at her age. But she has to make it and know that no matter what decision she makes we will always love her and she will always have a home here. She doesn't get that unconditional love anywhere else. She will always have it here. #1 point remind her tomorrow.

* My boys are going to be 2... I'm not ready. There was a couple at the orientation who had a 9 week old baby boy. He was cute and tiny. AMAZING that mine were ever that small. Now they are terrors and I wouldn't have it any other way. #2 point... re-read this tomorrow as a reminder that I wouldn't have it any other way.

Soooo excited!!!

2009-08-08T11:35:00.003-05:00

My twin is having a joint birthday for her kids mid Sept. and I really wanted to be there. My reasons of course are pretty selfish - lol. I miss her and I really want to see her NOW. She has been her, I want to go visit there, I want to see the kids. Soooo many reasons. I asked Russ and it didn't seem like it was going to happen. Well last night he gave me dates! He just has to double check to make sure he can get the time off work, but that is pretty much a rubber stamp!!! WE ARE GOING!!!!!! Friday - Tuesday!!! There are now words to express how excited I am. I cried when he made it real last night.

The party is going to be a Gator's theme. So I need to get shirts for the boys! YAY! We are going to make a Gator head cake for the kids and cupcakes!!! This is going to be awesome!!! So amazing and awesome!!!

Sigh...

2009-08-05T20:47:00.003-05:00

How can they grow up when a)I'm not that old? b)I didn't give permission. c)I don't want them to.

I registered my baby for high school today. I am just not ready for this. This is huge mile stone. And one that I'm just not ready for. My baby... my first born. It was hard for me when Tori went into high school, and it was hard when Hannalori went into high school. But Mitri is my baby boy, my first born. UGH!

I also started planning the twins birthday party today. The first birthday was really hard, and I didn't expect that this one would be this hard - but it is. To me going from 1 to 2 is going more from baby to toddler than before I think.

After Mitri I was done, I wasn't having any more kids. He was my one and only. Then me and Russ got married and the girls came into my life. I was happy with having the girls. But I was still adamant that I was not having any more children. The factory was closed - period. I went through a pretty rough patch a few years ago with work and life. Something happened that changed me at that time. My clock started ticking... I wanted a baby with my husband. He didn't argue. We had twins. lol

I am so thankful that we decided to have them. I can't believe that I am done having babies. I don't want more kids, but watching them do their first everythings is so amazing. I have such a different perspective than I did all those years ago when Mitri was this age.

But still nobody told them, any of them, that they could grow up!!! So they should all stop it!!!

Working out really sucks...

2009-08-04T13:46:00.002-05:00

So I did it and I started working out again... You know what? It really sucks when it's been a month and you haven't done much - ok anything - and you start again. I died during the warm up and kept going. For whatever reason the treadmill yesterday didn't bother me nearly as much as the stinking Jillian Michal's dvd did today. This morning my ear started hurting, like an ear ache. Really? Really! Really... I guess it was my blood pressure. But still.. that sucked!! I am going to get back on the treadmill tonight because I like it better right now. JM is NOT my friend, not that she ever was. I'll treadmill tonight and tomorrow I will treadmill again and I will shred tomorrow. I will die tomorrow I am sure. I am beyond mad at myself for this little stumble. I didn't realize it would be this hard to get going again. Grrr... Ugh... Sigh...

Starting back up... but not over...

2009-07-30T14:13:00.002-05:00

I'm getting back on the diet and exercise wagon. Well I never really got off the diet wagon, I've continued to eat pretty good. But I never got back on the exercise wagon after we got back from vacation. I have not gained any weight back. I have lost a pound or so actually.

I'm bound and determined to drop the weight. So back on track, starting up again but not over again. I refuse to feel like I fell off track so completely that I have to start over again. That would make me feel defeated or deflated... or something. Like I've lost my way and I have not. I just fell off the wagon a little.

So now it's time to jump back on the wagon full force.

A new workout plan + a new diet plan = the skinny me.

Being a SAHM

2009-07-26T20:57:00.003-05:00

I love my new life being a SAHM. I never thought that I would be the one to say that. I love that I have the opportunity that I have to be home with the boys. I know that I am blessed to have this chance that I didn't have with Demitrious.

Today I got a mom's day off. My mom took the twins for the day, Russ picked them up on his way home. I ran a couple errands, had lunch alone and came home and napped in a quiet house. I needed that nap more than I have ever needed a nap in my life.

I realized something today. Something that we miss out on as SAHMs.... We miss the opportunity to miss our kids. I know that the grass is always greener - and I would not trade what I have for anything. But... everybody needs a break sometimes. I think that the chance to miss the kids and for the kids to miss me is a good thing. I don't mean miss. A day, a couple days, a weekend whatever - A break from the monotony of everyday. The boys do not behave the same way with anybody else that they do with me. Why? Because they have a set routine with me. A break in that is good for everybody once in a while. I know it's good for me and my boys.

I made a promise to myself a while ago and didn't keep it. I remade that promise again today... I will take my mom up on the offer to have the boys over more often. It makes for a healthier relationship for all of us.

Morning?

2009-07-25T07:50:00.002-05:00

I was up way to late last night which it typical for me lately. But last night I finally got around to doing the final of the upgrade for Arresting Hearts, but it wouldn't take which just pissed me off. An upgrade like that takes me at least an hour, 10/15 prep at the beginning and 20/30 mins at the end putting everything back the way it's supposed to be. I don't know why it wouldn't take either, and I was to tired to research. So now I have to do that and try it again. Grrr...

Yesterday was pretty good otherwise. We got to the playground and the farmers market. The boys love the playground... even Kyle once he gets over his initial loathing of the dirtiness. I was able to get all of the freezers and the fridge cleaned and the kitchen is starting to look like it's my kitchen again. I still have the rest of the house to conquer - but hey baby steps right?

Today will be rough since Aedan has been on and off with the whining since 6:30; which means less than 6 hours of sleep for me. Which may not be early for everybody but it is here. They don't get up until 8:00. Now he is just pitching a fit so I must go... I predict a lot of coffee and crankiness in my day today. A LOT!

Nobody Likes A Hypocrite...

2009-07-21T15:54:00.013-05:00

One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others. ~Moliere

There are some personality traits that I simply cannot stand... Hypocrites are huge one.

From Merriam-Webster’s Online
1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

I think that sometimes we all do it to save a feeling or face. That is a bit different. But when somebody does it all the time, when it's part of who they are on a daily basis. It is over the top and it's wrong.

A friend of mine has a friend who is always telling her friends they are wrong and bad mom's for going out of town without their children. Now this person is talking about going away without her children; but that is different. First off, how dare she when it's wrong if someone else does it. But somehow now that she wants to do this it's different and of course it's ok now. What is good for the goose is only good for the goose in this case because I guarantee you if my friend went out of town again she would be sooo wrong. The goose is a hypocrite.

I believe in personal choices... I also believe that everybody needs a break. Going away doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother. But being a hypocrite makes you a bad person. However I don't think that the person who only wants to spend every waking second with their child/ren and never wants to be apart from them is a bad person either - I think they are nuts, but it's their choice. lol

I wish that people would just be honest and truthful. I wish they would only ask for opinions if they want them. I wish they would only the kind of friends that they want people to be in return. I wish they would look in the mirror and see the true reflection of themselves... If they did I don't think they would truly like the person they would see. Maybe that is why they behave the way they do. They know and don't like who they really are and that is why they treat people the way they do. They are unhappy and want to bring other people down with them. Misery, unhappiness, negativity - these are all self-fulfilling prophecy's ...

The inmates are running the asylum...

2009-07-19T20:28:00.005-05:00

We all know that I am very proud of what Russ does for a living. I think that being a police officer is one of the most honorable jobs out there. I also know that I couldn't do it... I don't have that kind of patience. The job in it self I could do. But I could not take what they take from people - I can not tolerate being sworn at called out of my name and just have to stand there and pretty much take it like they do. I would crack somebody up side the head. There would be a permanent seat in internal affairs with my name on it, I would have a regular appointment at the end of every shift to see them and a stack of pre-filled out memos that I would need to fill in the blanks. I hold the police in such a high respect for doing what they do - you have no idea.

That said... there are a few times a year with a few nights thrown in for good measure that I HATE THE JOB!!! HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. It is painfully obvious that "women" do not run police departments. Russ was out the door at 4:40 yesterday morning and home at 11pm (and he was home "early"), and out the door at 5:20 this morning. No real woman would ever schedule anybody like this; let alone someone who carries a gun for a living and is supposed to make life or death decisions. No real woman would ever schedule someone with a family to work such hours that they don't get to see their children.

I get that sometimes there are circumstances, events etc that need extra man-power and people need to work long days. But yesterday was a stupid bike race through town. Yesterday he stood on a street corner all day/night long. Was this really a good use of his time? I don't think so! They need Community Service Officers for things like this, Parking Enforcement would have been a better use for that... ugh...

Yesterday the boys were completely unruly. Kyle had an unreal amount of tantrums, and to top it off I am not feeling well still. It was just not a good day for Russ to work a double. Besides I would have to be bleeding from my ears for him to miss a day from work, even then I'm not sure he would.

So far today is better. I really hope it stays that way. Because we all know that Russ is going to come home and take a nap because he is exhausted from yesterday still.

By the way... when is my break???

Crap...

2009-07-16T16:57:00.000-05:00

Are you kidding me it's been a week since I've blogged... AGAIN... How does that happen? Where is the blog fairy that is supposed to take all of the posts that I've written in my head and magically put them here? Because I'll tell you what I don't remember what they are, just that I am sure that I had a whole bunch of them...

No time for life right now...

2009-07-07T22:10:00.002-05:00

Let's see... Never finished blogging about vacation... I need to find time to do that I'll get there I swear I will. But there is a reason for it and my lack of blogging. We got home on Saturday the 27th and Russ went back to work Sunday (by choice). Monday he was off but had to work a click it or ticket detail. Tuesday his regular shift... Tuesday morning he gets a call from his dad, come over I fell last night and I think I broke my hip. Long story short he did and waited over night to call anybody. So... Wednesday surgery, and here we are. Partial hip replacement... Ohhh and on Father's Day he fell and broke his ankle. At least both breaks are on the same side? Yesterday he got transfered from the hospital to the rehab center.

I have been at the hospital everyday since he went in with the exception of Sunday... tried to get a day of rest in. HA! Today all day at the rehab center.

I'm beat, exhausted, worn out, done... but it's not over.

I need to start working on cleaning out his house and getting him moved... it's all on me it always is...

Vacation Day 3...

2009-06-19T12:20:00.006-05:00

Vacation Day 3...
Tuesday...
Today we spent another day with the family. Janice had to work again but it was another nice day with Aunt Harriet. We were supposed to get up and go to breakfast in the morning, but we ended up getting a late start and just went straight over to their house. Harriet had lunch ready when we got there. It wasn't bad. Ground beef salad sandwiches... like tuna salad, but ground beef. Interesting to say the least... lol

After Janice got home we ordered pizza then went for a nice walk. I love this picture with the storm over the mountains...

Later the boys got silly and had a toga party! lol

We got to see quite a bit of family... and were up pretty late but it was a good day.

The More Things Change... The More They ... Oh Who Am I Kidding...

2009-06-16T11:06:00.002-05:00

The 2 week vacation thing was my idea. I was really trying to fit everything in. See our friends in the Vegas area, my Aunt in LA, see family in New Mexio, and friends in Texas. He added his family in SD and my Aunt in LA is iffy. I can not begin to tell you how pissed I'm going to be if we don't go to see her. He does not want to do any vacation stuff in SD because he really wants to just spend the time with his aunt and family. I don't mind one bit. Harriet is 88 years old... I wouldn't have minded going back to the wildlife park. But the boys won't remember being there and won't get a huge kick out of it so it's really ok. But he either doesn't get or doesn't care that I would like to go see my Great Aunt for the same reason that he wants to be here. Even though I've told him... Leads me to believe he doesn't care. Makes me very resentful.

I knew that 2 weeks on the road with the boys would be hard. But my husband on vacation has never been the as he is at home. He is always more awake and alive and fun. So I figured I would get more help with the boys... Guess I bought the tickets... from a scalper... paid to much... obstructed view...

The more things change... the more they stay the same... sometimes they get worse. Resentment grows and grows

Vacation Day 2...

2009-06-16T10:11:00.005-05:00

Vacation Day 2...
Monday...
We spent the day at Russ' Cousins and Aunt's house (Janice/Denny & Harriet). When Russ was born, Harriet, his Aunt - mother's sister, came up and spent a fair amount of time with them and really took care of him. They have a bond that is amazing and beautiful. Something to do with the fact that he pooped on her - lol. Harriet will be 88 this year. She looks fantastic and is doing amazing. She has had both knees operated on, but that is it, she brags about still having her tonsils. The boys did great, even managed to get them down for a nap (we napped too!).

Aedan sat with Denny and watched a "shooooooowwww"...

Kyle wears Janice's 'sheeeeeewwws'...

Russ and Aunt Harriet...

All in all it was a long day but a good day...

Dinner was nice... a roast in the crock pot, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls and salad. Aedan fed himself with his spoon and wouldn't let me help at all. Ky was a turd and didn't want to eat. Russ coaxed him into eating so that was a good thing. Apple Pie and Butterscotch Pie for desert. I had was a bad dieter and had a sliver of each... I couldn't help myself... sigh. The boys both had a bowl of ice cream and again Aedan fed himself with his spoon... no help from me... sigh!

Vacation Day 1...

2009-06-16T09:50:00.006-05:00

Vacation - Day 1
Sunday ... Drove from Gurnee to Sioux Falls for lunch with my 1st (??) Cousin. His mother and my grandpa (father's father) were brother and sister... I hate genealogy. Left the house at 5am, at Starbucks by 6am, first Rest Stop maybe around 7 or 8am. I think we stopped once more... and were in Sioux Falls just before 2pm. Not bad time at all. One of the rest stops had a little playground so we let the boys play for about 15 minutes to stretch their legs. The DVD player, little doodle pads and books were a saving graced! SHEW. After a couple hours at lunch we headed back out for Sturgis. We were able to make a stop at the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD.

We have been there before and I really just wanted to take a picture of the outside... They change it yearly (I think it's only once a year). It's all different colored individual ears of corn, and it's all done by hand. Pictures don't do it justice, it's an odd site but pretty cool. One of those must sees if you are in the area.

Then we had enough time to make it to Wall Drugs. Again... odd but a must see if you are here. So ...

Missing My Other Half

2009-06-16T09:28:00.002-05:00

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.
~Edna St Vincent Millay

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
~Kay Knudsen

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
~Lamartine

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious as to have friends at a distance; they make the latitudes and longitudes.
~Henry David Thoreau

Oh don't I wish...

2009-06-12T09:02:00.003-05:00

I was thinking this morning about the things I wish I had... in no particular order and really because I'm tired and in a mood...

A wife...
A maid...
Time...
Rest...
Time...
A clean house...
Peace...
Just a minute...
Less resentment...
No dishes in the sink...
Help...
Respect...
A waist line...
A clean family room...
Time...
Rest...
Just a minute...
Appreciation...

It's apparent that I have my bitchy pants on today... maybe I'll feel better tonight... sigh

Vacation count down...

2009-06-10T15:18:00.002-05:00

Vacation is coming up and I'm stressing about it... I think I have everything we need except car snacks and umbrella strollers. We don't have room for either of our big strollers so we are going to get a couple of umbrella strollers.
I've got new books, new toys, a dvd player for the boys, movies (they better come tomorrow or Friday man!)... I've got lists and lists and lists. And stress and IBS and panic...
I still need to make sure that all of the 'attractions' we are planning on going to are already a part of the GPS system or I have to program them in. Maybe I'll do that tonight after the boys go to bed.

I'm not even sure, aside from packing, what else I need to do. I'm not going to sleep Saturday I never do the night before vacation. Hell if I stop sleeping now I'll get it all done... I need a wife...

Busy but good...

2009-06-07T21:18:00.004-05:00

Friday we went to one of the boys God Mother's for dinner. Love Nani Carol sooo much. We try to make a standing date for the next month each time we are there. The boys always have a blast there too. I made a date for myself with her to go to church Sunday (today) with her because she does go when she is here and I hate that she goes alone. I do enjoy going and never go. So that is a good thing. I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I enjoy going to church.

Saturday... hmmmm.... SSDD I think... FIL came by for dinner. Low key day. Thankfully.

Sunday, today, shew man! I'm tired! Out the door at 7am. Dropped the boys off by my mom's. Church with Carol. Nice service, they are pretty quick there service was starting just after 8am and done by 8:45. Wham Bam... lol... They don't play. I've never heard a homily so short but still to the point. I know priests that could take lessons. It was nice...
After church I hustled to Evanston to meet Tori for our Spa day. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhmazing. Perfect girl bonding. Wonderful scrub. Awesome massage. Nice mani. Great day... we'll do it again... def!

On a total side note... I fit in my wedding band again! I have not had it on in ummmmmm 2 years about. I finally had to take off both my engagement and wedding rings when I was maybe 6 months pregnant and I have had my engagement ring on for a few months now it's a little bigger than the wedding band. But today the wedding band went on!!! I'm beyond thrilled... You have no idea. HUGE MILESTONE!!! HUGE!!!

Graduation ...

2009-06-03T23:26:00.004-05:00

Well my oldest boy... my Mitri... graduated from the 8th grade tonight. He is officially a high school freshman now. I can't get over how fast time goes. It really does seem like just yesterday I was holding him in my arms and rocking him to sleep. SIGH... Well I couldn't be prouder of him. I know he will be successful in high school.

Don't get me wrong...

2009-06-02T22:14:00.001-05:00

My Morning

2009-06-02T09:23:00.003-05:00

No.
No..
No...
No....
No.....
Don't.
Don't do it..
I mean it....
Seriously.
I'm not kidding!
Stop it!! (as he is climbing on the hot tub, looking at me and grinning)
Don't make me get up!!
You are going to get a time out!!!
That's it!!! Time out for you!!!
(Time out now)
(2 seconds go by - gets put back in time out)
(4 seconds later - gets put back in time out again)
(Another 5 seconds - gets put back in time out)
(Yet another 5 seconds - you guessed it... gets put back in time out)
Finally after doing this over and over we sit for 2 minutes toying with me the whole time...
I say "Aedan come here" ...
So he smiles and comes over.
I say "Aedan, you can not climb on the hot tub, that is a NO-NO. Mommy told you NO and you can not do that anymore." " Mommy loves you. Kisses."
He gives me a kiss and says "Sha Soo" (love you) and runs off.

He probably won't get back on the hot tub today. Tomorrow is another story though... stubborn boy. He gets it from his father for sure.

A Good Day!

2009-05-30T21:57:00.002-05:00

Today was good... Got a nice hard treadmill workout done and survived and love it.
Dinner was great... and even better than that was cooking it. Me and Hannalori made Spaetzle and Chicken ala King from scratch. I don't know if it was as good as Omi's or not, they said it was but it was good. To me... even better than the food was just cooking it. 2 hours in the kitchen with Hannalori was awesome. She cooked, I just directed. I loved being with her and helping her and working with her. I think we had fun, I think she enjoyed it. She asked questions and learned some things about cooking. We made plans for making a smoked butt the next time she comes over! More cooking! She is my little soux chef for sure! Oh and I need to get a Spaetzle maker now... teehee...

Things with Tori are doing ok... seems to have calmed down so that is good. Hopefully they will stay settled down. Sigh...

Wasting away again in migraineville...

2009-05-29T23:08:00.005-05:00

Woke up today with a migraine... so I skipped my morning treadmill and my lunchtime shred. I took my treximet and got the boys settled with breakfast and sat down. Russ was off today but had his physical this morning. I assumed he was coming straight home since he knew I wasn't feeling well. The treximet kicked in and I got relief. The boys finished eating and were terrors. He calls and says he went to get his oil changed. He was already there, they had his car and he was waiting. So it wasn't terribly long after he called until he got home. I understand he needed to get that done, but I was upset that he had to do it right then. He knew I wasn't feeling well and I really would have appreciated him coming right home to help me. We could have done it this afternoon, Saturday anything but right at that moment when I was in dire pain. I tried to nap a bit when he got home but my desire to be with my family found me laying on the couch so I couldn't really nap with the boys climbing all over me. Once we took them up for naps, we sat down and ate a bit, then in our chairs, and he laid on the couch. UGH... So I kissed him and went upstairs and laid down in bed and napped for a couple hours myself. Not my idea of a good day. Not at all. After naps, around 2ish, I got up and got me and the boys dressed and was hoping to get to the doctor's to get Aedan's lab work done. And while Russ didn't need to leave for work for an hour and a half he felt there wasn't enough time to go. So that gets put off. That upset me... what if... what if he really is sick? I don't think he is, but what if? So we need to do that tomorrow and if we don't I will take him by myself on Monday while Russ is working. I'm not waiting any longer. It will be one more day in my life as a single but married mom. My numb/bitterness just grows sometimes.

A positive today was that Mitri had a good time at his dance. He actually danced too! He looked so nice and his friends did too. The girl that was his 'date' was really cute and her dad drove Mitri home for me so I wouldn't have to wake the boys up to come get him. Really nice people! I'm thankful for the nice people out there! My baby graduates from the 8th grade on Wednesday! WOW... I can't believe it...

What to say today?

2009-05-28T23:03:00.003-05:00

I don't even know... it's been pretty low key today. I did my Shred at lunch - Yay me? I'm going to hit the treadmill now before I go to bed. I'm going to get my two workouts a day in if it kills me. I know it won't happen every single day, but today there is no excuse so I need to get down there and do it...

My Mitri had his 8th grade field trip today. A boat tour on The Spirit of Chicago. It's a nice lake front boat tour of the Chicago sky line. He seemed to have a good time. Tomorrow is the 8th grade dance. He has a date... sigh. I'm to take him to the park tomorrow before the dance so his date's mom can take pictures... so I of course will take some too. And we will pick up a corsage for him to give her as well. Since this is all datey like... my baby is growing up. I can't believe he is graduating from the 8th grade on Wednesday. I really can't believe it...

Hannalori is coming up tomorrow night. Russ will pick her up when he gets off work. She is coming by herself... I'm thrilled. We just don't get enough time with her. So hopefully I'll get to do some bonding with her. Saturday night we are making Spaetzle and Chicken ala King Omi style. Her mom is sending her with the Spaetzle maker and a recipe so we are going to give it a shot. A tribute to her Omi. I'm going to let her do the cooking and I'll just oversee. I want this to be her special weekend. We'll work on her cookbook too. Maybe if she wants we'll transfer it to a scrapbook and start taking pictures of the meals as we make them.

There is more drama in Tori's life... I'll catch up with her tomorrow to make sure she is doing ok. I have not decided how worried I am. I know she will call me if she gets in any trouble. My heart is not settled yet, I'm not at a losing sleep point either. I did reach out to her old friend Crystal today. Since her and Crys have started rebuilding their friendship and Crys was my 'adopted daughter' until their falling out. She had posted something on her FB page that I agreed with so I commented so we went back and forth for a few. Crys still has my number and would also hopefully call me if Tori got jammed up... Not sure how much I trust Crystal yet though. It will be interesting, to say the least, to see how this all plays out. You could not pay me to be a teenager or do my early 20's again.

Off to treadmill. xoxoxoxo

So much to say...

2009-05-27T21:55:00.006-05:00

But I'm tired... lol I'm going to keep it short and be wordy tomorrow.

The one thing that I do want to mention tonight is my new amazing look! Thank you so very much Amanda at Sweet Memory Graphics for the amazing and beautiful make-over! I don't even know what I love the most. Every time I look at it I see something new that I love more. I am in love with what you did with my kids pics... I knew I wanted them in frames but OMG those are amazing. They are sooo amazing. And if you look close in the top corner of the title frame. My twin got sneaky and had Amanda add a little twins symbol. It's us, me and my Kathryn. That alone means more to me than even she will ever know.

Thank you Amanda for the beautiful blog make-over honey you do amazing work!
Thank you my twin for being a sneaky girl!

Oh Tuesday...

2009-05-26T21:44:00.003-05:00

Weigh in was today.. .Yippee? No change in weight, down 2 inches. I could be happier, but I suppose I could be more upset as well so I'll take it. I have missed some days working out, but I have been good with my diet. So I was hoping for some pounds lost. I get frustrated easily... I'm turning my frustration into determination this time though. I am getting on the treadmill everyday and I am going to Shred everyday. I will workout twice a day. I will eat healthy everyday, NO JUNK. PERIOD. I am going low carb, low sodium, low cal. PERIOD. No matter how I have to make it work into my life it will happen.

Aside from today's weigh in disappointment... I had to go to Omi's wake without my husband. Ummm awkward much? Just a bit. But I would not disappoint my girls. He could not get away from work so in typical fashion I was mother and father. The girls were thankful I was there, Cindy was too. I was glad I went. Tomorrow I will go to the funeral, without him. Such is life. I was pissed earlier and it's not that I'm not mad now, but I'm hurt and sad more. Sad for the girls, sad for Russ.

Working out... Losing weight... Finding the skinny me!

2009-05-25T17:45:00.011-05:00

I know she is in there ... the skinny me. I stopped working in Oct/Nov of '07 and I lost her shortly after that. Then in Feb '08 I lost her the rest of the way. But she is in there... I'm sure of it.

I have a goal in mind of where I want to be, it's about 50lbs lighter than what I started this working out/dieting thing at a year ago. I'm about 7lbs closer... 7lbs in a year - Jillian Michaels would NOT be proud of that little fact. The truth is I've been very terrible with the on again off again working out and dieting. I'm fantastic for a while, die hard, gung-ho it's great... then I get terribly frustrated when I don't see the lbs dropping off. I've a numbers girl. I NEED to see the lbs dropping off and when I don't I feel like I'm working hard for no reason, like I'm wasting my time and I slow down and eventually give up. I've tried with support from friends and I'm the same... logging in, posting, accountable, supportive of everybody else, hard core, great, awesome, no pounds? screw it...

This time it's different. Kathryn and me... we're doing this together. I'm focusing less on the # of calories that go in although I am watching what I eat and keeping track in my head of how many calories go in. I'm conscious of what I eat and making healthy choices and watching, for the first time in my life, my salt/sodium intake. I am living with out salt, or with very little. Amazing.
We are working out together, well as together as 2 people 800 miles apart can. We are doing the Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred program. Starting with Level I, worked our way up to Level 2 and now starting on Level 3... WOW. I never thought I would get to Level 3. (Although if I don't get this DVD player thing worked out I may never - but that is another story.) Kathryn is a rock man, she has not missed a day of working out! She is amazing! I, not so much, I have missed some days. I am doing much better that I have done in the past though. Some days I've done better that I thought I had in me and I've doubled up and gotten a nice treadmill workout or a long walk done in addition to Shredding. It's been great.

I am trying really hard not to focus on lbs... really hard. I've only lost 2 so far. We've been at it for 4 weeks now... But and it's a big butt (haha) I have lost a grand total of 16 inches off my body the majority of that coming from my waist and belly. That is a huge accomplishment. I have things I'm happy about and things I'm not happy about. The inches are HUGE for me, I'm head over heals about that. I know once I drop below this plateau I'm at the lbs will fall off. I just need to drop past this brick wall. That is part of the reason why I'm adding the additional cardio into my workout with the treadmill in the morning, I think that will make a huge difference in my weight loss and the Shredding will build muscle, tone abs, etc.

Well day 1 of a daily double for me... tomorrow day 2 right? Just get up and do it. Morning treadmill... Lunch Shred Level 3.
Like Nike - Just Do It!
7 down, 42 to go... YIKES... Ok skinny me show your skinny self I know you are in there!

Old friends and good dinner...

2009-05-24T23:00:00.004-05:00

We had an old friend over for dinner tonight. You gotta love a good steak on the grill and veggies roasted just right. Aside from good food, it is always nice to have another grown up over for for a visit. I for one so very much enjoy talking to another adult. It is also nice to see Russ enjoy himself. This particular friend is an old friend of his, that has become a friend of mine since we got together. So a fair amount of the evening was spent with the two of them reminiscing about old times... most of with I could keep up with - some was beyond me but that is ok. I think that he misses the "good old days" more than he would ever admit. It isn't that he doesn't like life now, but who doesn't miss the old days every now and then. I enjoy reminiscing with old friends. But... I wouldn't go back and do it all over again for anything. It's those "good ole days" and not so good ones that have made me the person I am.

“When we dwell on the past, we tend to want to live there. When we dream of the future, we want to go there. Our dreams are where God paints a picture of a life waiting to be created."
Erwin Raphael McManus

Ahhh a nice quiet Saturday... NOT

2009-05-23T15:32:00.006-05:00

Oh where to start... After going to bed at 1am. Aedan so very kindly decided that it would be appropriate to get up at 5am. I left him until 6:30 when I could no longer stand to listen to him. So... 4 hours of sleep... bad bad bad...
I attempted to lay down on the couch but that was a foolish thought. As soon as my eyes closed Russ got up to go do something so I had to watch the boys. The boys were all over me ... blah blah blah
I gave up... got up... unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, made coffee and breakfast. Screw it... Rest is really over rated.
After breakfast Russ got the boys dressed while I got dressed. I took all the gates out and blocked off the deck and he watched the boys on the deck while I worked on the space where their Little Tikes Play House will sit. Had to dig up the ground and let me tell you that shit was an awful lot like work. I only sweat like that when I Shred. Then 4 bags of leveling sand, and sixteen 12x12 pavers to make a floor for the house. Russ re-sprayed the yard, front and back with bug spray because it just wasn't working for me the other day. I got a couple more plants in the ground. SHEW... Afterwards I pretty much sat on my ass the rest of the day. Now I'm ready for bed... I'm bushed, beat, tired... you get the idea...

Tomorrow will be another day... without rest I'm sure. Such is life.

Going to check the milk cartons...

2009-05-22T18:29:00.004-05:00

Russ has been working late every night this week and will work late almost every night next week. Next time I go to the store I'm going to look on the milk cartons and see if his picture is on there. It's not his fault... they have a stinking Click it or Ticket grant from the state and he doesn't have a choice. But he leaves early, gets home late. I barely see him and the boys don't see him at all...

The first few days were hard but not terrible. Yesterday we went and had lunch with him so that was good. Today he is working later and it's even harder. We had planned on going to have lunch with him but he canceled that. I offered to go to breakfast, even dinner... Just really wanted to see him, wanted the boys to see him. He said it was crazy busy. So no... Broke my heart today. Makes me wonder why I even try really.

Next week is going to be even harder. I'm not sure weather I should offer to come down again because the rejection of him saying not to come down is harder than missing him...

R.I.P. Omi

2009-05-21T20:43:00.003-05:00

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Damn that Kiddieland...

2009-05-19T20:18:00.004-05:00

I'm pretty mad at Kiddieland right now. Apparently without consulting me first the people that they lease their land from have decided not to renew their lease and they are not planning on moving since it's a bit expensive to look for 17 acres and move all that stuff. Well poop on them. Santa's Village closed in 2006 and now Kiddieland. Well where am I supposed to take the boys? Huh? Somebody tell me. There are indoor bounce houses around... but that just isn't as fun as a amusement park type of place. I want to take them this year before it closes... but I'm not sure it's worth it. They won't remember and I don't think they will even get a kick out of most of the rides. SIGH... Sometimes changes just sucks. I guess this fall and winter it will be all bounce houses all the time... with a little Chuck E Cheese throw in.

Rambling on and on...

2009-05-18T22:18:00.013-05:00

Ok so bare (or is at bear?) with me... I was thinking earlier today (maybe it was yesterday) about when I a was a kid ... about the things you dream of when you are a kid. I wanted to blog about it and then completely forgot, and was reading another blog today and well remember again... story of my life... so I'm back.

So... growing up I had all the dreams of the education, the career, the marriage, that white picket fence, the kids, the dog, the retirement, you know the blah blah blah....

But like the title of my besties blog will tell you "Life Happens" ...

So ...

Education... Nope. But I've tried. Several times as a matter of fact but it keeps not so much working. But I keep trying and I will keep trying. Someday it will happen... Next year I try again...

Career... Nope. I've had jobs, but nothing I would consider a career. My last job I almost considered career... almost. It actually almost catapulted me into a career that I would have loved to have had. I would have completely loved a career with the IEA/NEA - with my Union. I guess we will just say that life had other plans...

Marriage... I do have that ... I'm not sure it's exactly what I dreamed it would be when I was little. But I'm happy. I love my husband. I will tell you this much - he was totally my Knight in Shining Armour. He really did come in and save me from an ass who was threatening to kick my ass. Now here we are...

White picket fence... No literal fence but we have an beautiful home. Can't ask for more than that!

The kids... Oh the kids... 5 and stopping... That's it... No really - Don't joke around that is it!

The dog... Oh the dog... what can I say... She is a sweet girl and we couldn't ask for a better pup.

I spend a lot of time in my own head, to much time I'm sure, thinking back on things. What I thought I always wanted. What I wish I had in life. All the things that happened and I try to think if there were things that I should have done that would have changed what happened. Is it all my fault? I do realize that the past is what made me who I am... those events molded me. And while I hate what happened and can't help but reflect on them and still wonder what I could have ever done to change them; I do know that I am where I am because of them. I do love my life - my husband, my kids... I wouldn't change that part for anything.

Again with the busyness....

2009-05-18T21:02:00.007-05:00

Last night was a rough one. Not 15 mins after I went to bed Aedan was up screaming... 1:30am before I got him back to bed and of course Kyle got up then too. So at 2am I called it and closed their door, closed my door and let them CIO. I'll tell you this... I thought it was hard on my heart to let them CIO when they were younger. Now... now that they are 20 months old and Kyle cries "Maaaaaaaaaaa Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa". Now that they know more than they did before CIO hurts my heart even more. I closed both doors and I put my pillow over my head and I cried with them. I don't think they cried long... I didn't either... we all fell asleep. I didn't even hear them get up this morning I was sooo tired. Russ actually got up with them I was thrilled and surprised. Then the day got off and running. Off to Tori's to hang curtains... done... Then lunch, and home. Of course nothing goes off without a hitch. School called right before we left so I ran to pick Mitri up, he had a migraine. I ran some errands after we got home. Russ went to work... I went to belly dancing... I'm even more tired after writing it all out again...

Tomorrow had better be a low key day. I need to rest - after of course I measure, weigh and work out in the morning. No real rest for the weary.

While it's only 10:30pm

2009-05-17T22:29:00.005-05:00

Why am I still awake? It's been a long busy day... that is all...

Just another busy day...

2009-05-17T21:30:00.009-05:00

I'm not sure what ever happened to "on the 7th day he rested"... because I really didn't rest at all today. Been running all day... since almost 8am. Again with the cleaning and organizing and yard work... oh my...

Here is a little pic of my flower garden...

It's not where I want it to be yet... still with the bare spots and all. But it's really getting there. I need to get a better picture. My phone doesn't do it justice. I do love my gardening; somehow it relaxes me. I guess because I go out there and just focus on that and nothing else for a while.

In true fashion of no rest for the wicked... I'll be rip running all day tomorrow too... Yay? lol

Busy... Busy... Busy...

2009-05-16T21:33:00.012-05:00

Mitri was home all day today which was a blessing for me because I was able to do a lot of running around and with out the twins in tow. Usually on the weekends he is at my mom's, but because he was at a school function last night he was still here. So he watched the boys all morning and I ran to Target and picked up a few things, Home Depot got more flowers for the garden, Michael's - the D rings for Tori's curtain tie backs... and then Wendy's and picked up Mitri's lunch... Shew... all that before noon! Got the flowers in the ground with Mitri's help that only took an hour. The garden is looking great! I'm thrilled. Got it watered and everything!!! Showered and straightened my hair... post office, and picked up Russ' prescription. WOW... I still need to clean the house - of course, finish Tori's curtains and work out. There are never enough hours in a day. The house won't get done tonight, but I will get the boys toy's reorganized. The curtains will have to wait till tomorrow, but they will get done tomorrow because Monday we are going to her apartment to hang them. I may or may not get on the treadmill tonight; all the running around I did today has to count for something - plus I ate really well and was awesome at my portion control. This whole diet and exercise thing is a whole 'nother post or 20. The one thing missing today was my other half... I feel lost when I don't get to talk to my twin during the day. We only chatted for a few this afternoon and did text a bit too.
Ohhh that reminds me ... I'll have to write about my 'tub repair' fiasco!!! YIKES... maybe tomorrow...

Friendship...

2009-05-15T14:50:00.006-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about friendship over the past few days... what it is, what it means.

If you Google "define:friendship" you get the following things:

the state of being friends (or friendly)
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Friendship is a neighborhood of large Victorian houses in the East End of the City of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States, about four miles east of Pittsburgh's Golden Triangle. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_(Pittsburgh)
'Friendship' is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
Here is a list of state mottos for the states of the United States of America. To promote tourism, states also establish state slogans, which are unofficial and change more often than state mottos. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship_(motto)

It goes on and on like that. It wasn't quite what I was looking for.

So I went to the old standard http://www.merriam-webster.com/ who defines friendship as
1: the state of being friends 2: the quality or state of being friendly : friendliness
Again less than helpful.

They do define "Friend" as:
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker
Ahhh much better...

A friend... one that is attached to another by affection or esteem... one that is not hostile... a favored companion.

To me a friend is all of these things and more. Friendship is always evolving and growing. Your friends always care and are always there for you as you are there for them. It's love and affection, mutual respect, and trust,

Ok... Let's do this blogging thing...

2009-05-14T23:04:00.005-05:00

Who am I?
I'm a SAHMom to the boys... the twins... the terrors... lol... they are really joys I swear! My peanut - Aedan. My moose - Kyle . They will be 2 at the end of September and not only am I still in shock that I really had more kids, I can't believe I had twins... wow. My boy-child Mitri, 14 years old, going to be a freshman in high school this fall, my baby - amazing. My first born is going to be in high school I still can't figure that out since I'm not old enough to have a kid in high school. Hrumph. He is an amazing child, so kind and loving, I could not be prouder. My girls, I have 2 amazing step-daughters that I could not be closer or love more if I had actually given birth to them myself, I don't consider them step-daughters, they are my daughters... in my heart they are mine. Victoria (Tori) will be 20 this year, I'm watching her grow up into a beautiful young lady. Hannalori will be 15 this year and I'm watching her grow up into a beautiful young lady too. It's sooo very different watching girls grow up than watching boys grow up.
Oh yea... there is the husband, Russ... he is the popo, the -50, the man, lol. He loves his job and I am proud of him for what he does. I won't say that I don't worry, because I do. But I try not to let it consume me because if I do I won't get anything else done all day long and I would have an ulcer the size of Texas.
And what can I say about my bff... my twin... without her I couldn't get through the day. She blogs and does it well. She is inspiring me to do this too. We'll see if I can keep up with her. I'm new to this whole blogging thing so we'll see how it goes... and ok so that wasn't really about me at all...